Clean Up on Aisle Doom
by RabidOzztaku
Summary: When the Tallest refuse to restock Zim's Irken food suppply, he has only one option left...
1. Veenie Weenies

A/N of Authory Noteness: My second attempt a Zim Ficage. I hope you like it. And if you do enjoy it, be patient. I am a sloooow ficcy writer.  
I personally think that the fact that this is FAN FICTION should be enough to tip off the fact that I do not own Invader Zim. But let us give credit where credit be due anyway, shall we?  
Invade Zim belongs to people who are not me.  
Strong Bad and his e-mail wisdom, despite being _horribly _misquoted, belongs to those Homestar Runner-making geniouses that are not me.

Now, on to da fic-ness....

* * *

**.:Chapter 1:. **  
  
It was a lovely and cheerful Saturday. Birds were singing, children were playing...you know, all that usual happy cheeful Saturday type junk. However, things were far darker within the walls of Zim's house.  
  
The Invader was standing in the middle of his living room, stock still in an arrogant stance. He gripped the gun tightly in his tiny gloved hand, a smile of pure sadistic evil plastered on his green face. Slowly, he brought his weapon up, aiming carefully at his prey. "So, you thought you could elude me," he said in a low, sinister voice, "Fool! Your end begins now!" He squeezed the trigger, chuckling wickedly....  
  
Miss.  
  
With an angry grunt, Zim slammed the gun to the ground as the duck flew off screen. A fat brown dog rose up from behind the grass, only to point and laugh at the Invader's misfortune. Naturally, this only made Zim even more mad.  
  
"You dare mock ZIM?!" the Irken screamed. He immediatly pulled a deadly laser pistol out of his pak. With the fury of a thousand rabid baboons armed with deadly laser pistols, he let off several powerful shots at the game system sitting on the floor. "Ha HA! Laugh at me NOW, you inferior beast of the 8-bits!" He watched the smoke clear, revealing an untouched NES system and a lot of charred floor. Zim growled and made several of his trademark noises of over exagerrated exasperation as he flung the game out of an open window. A decent explosion in the distance followed.  
  
"Bye bye Mario!"  
  
Zim turned around to find himself joined by GIR, who was waving at the remains of the Nintendo. Good, Zim need something to vent his wrath to. "Gah! These stupid Earth video games are worthless! How can I relax from this exhausting week if all I have to work with is such craptacular GARBAGE! Huh?! HOW?!?"  
  
GIR simply stared blankly at his angry master. "Where'd the Veenie Weenies gooo?" he cried, waving a tiny Vienna Suasages can in Zim's face. The can was empty; an Irken symbol visible at the bottom. Zim sighed. It was always something with GIR. Always something involving food, anyhow.  
  
"I imagine that you ate them all, GIR," the Irken replied through gritted teeth.  
  
"But I want mooorre! I's HUNGRY!"  
  
"Then just...eat something else! You always manage to find some form of FILTH to naw on!"  
  
"There ain't nuthin' else! It allllll ran awaaaay, and that makes me sad..."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Zim said as he made his way to the refriderator, "We have plenty of food! And why are you hungry in the first place, your a rob--" Silence filled the kitchen as Zim stared into the empty fridge. An ominous howling wind of emptyness could be heard coming from somewhere deep within the appliance's barren depths. A glowing orange mass in one corner absorbed a lone Irken-emblazoned Cheese Nip inot it's blobby matter. Zim just shrugged. "Eh, look at that." Suddenly, he could feel GIR's metal body plop on top of his head, two large round cyan eyes staring hopefully at him.  
  
"Hmph! Can't you just order one of those disgusting Earth pizzas that you seem to love so much?"  
  
"No, they don't like me no more," GIR replied with a smile.  
  
Zim was about to ask why, but then thought better of it. He was pretty sure that he did NOT want to know. "Fine, GIR. I'll go make a call to the Massive and have our food supply restocked."  
  
"Yaaaaaaay for food!" The SIR unit hopped down and began a happy squeally dance while Zim made his way down the toilet to his computers. Within minutes, he was in front of a large screen, looking at his leaders. Tallest Purple looked rather annoyed. Tallest Red looked flat-out pissed. Purple relunctantly took on the responsibility of speaking first, his voice monotone. He greeted Zim with a sigh.  
  
"Yes, Zim, what do you want now--"  
  
Red immediatly brought up his hand, silencing Purple. "No!" he interrupted, "Not today!" Purple looked at his fellow leader quizically, but Red refused to let anyone stop his rant. "Zim, I don't know why you've called, but whatever it is, it can wait! We are in the middle of a very VERY important desicion right now, and I do NOT feel like listening to your egotistical nonsense today!"  
  
"But, My Tallest, I jus--"  
  
"I don't care what your latest plan is, or how amazing you are, or if you even have a whole army of giant-headed Earth smeets after you..."  
  
"Yes, but you don't understand, I need--"  
  
"Call. Us. LATER. Like, in a month or three." With those words, Tallest Red cut off the transmission. "Ahh...that felt good. Now, then, where were we?"  
  
The two rulers turned there attention to another screen, looks of deep concentration on their faces.  
  
"Oooo! Oo! Ooo!" Purple pointed to something on the screen, "That one! That one right there!"  
  
"Hey, now that one looks cool..." Red selected where Purple was pointing.  
  
"_Dear Strongbad, I was just wondering what you would look like as a Japanese cartoon..._"

* * *

Back at Zim's base, Zim was deep in thought as he made his way up the elevator to the house level. He hoped that he didn't do anything to hamper the Tallest's decision making...it sounded like they were trying to figure out something very crucial! It looked like GIR's tiny little weenies would have to wait. As for Zim, he had nothing to worry about! Invaders were highly trained for such situations; they could go for exceedingly long amounts of time without eating!  
  
_grrrrrrrrrowwlll...  
_  
"Eh? Whazzat?" Zim looked around the elevator in search for the source of the noise...  
  
_grrrrrowlllllgrummmmblllllle..._  
  
Then he looked down and his stomach...the noise was coming form him.

* * *

GIR was still dancing his little metallic butt off when Zim rose up from the toilet. He was in his disguise, adjusting his wig.  
  
"We gettin' mah WEENIES?" GIR squealed.  
  
"Get your disguise on GIR," Zim commanded, his contact-covered eyes narrowing. "We're going _shopping_." 


	2. A Little Bus Ride

**.: Chapter 2 :.**

Gaz zipped up her black jacket as she made her way down the hall. She paused in front of her brother's door, seething inside as she reluctantly turned the doorknob. Why didn't Dad just let her take the bat? Why? She stepped into Dib's room and was greeted by an unearthly barrage of loud snoring. Rage unlike any other welled up from deep inside her, rage that she promptly let out with a swift punch to Dib's head.

"Ow! What the-- Gaz! What was that for?" Dib sat up in his bed, rubbing where his little sister had hit him,

"I think a better question would be why are you still sleeping? It's after twelve!"

"I'm just really tired I guess," Dib yawned, "This has been a hectic week! It all started on Monday when Zim..."

"Yeah, your life is pathetic, whatever. Just get up," Gaz interrupted, "We need to go to the store. They're giving out free Vampire Hunter Piggy trading cards. Each of these cards is supposed to have codes for secret levels. Well, that and we're kind of running out of cereal and beans."

"What? I can't go shopping! I'm usually in the middle of some serious Zim surveillance by now! Who knows what sort of _horrible plot of destruction_ he has been devising while I, mankind's _only hope_, have been sleeping in! I-- OW!! GAZ! Cut that out!!" Again, Dib rubbed his already sore head.

"You could stay here and spontaneously combust for all I care, but Dad is making me take you. Do you want to eat or not?"

"I can worry about food later, Gaz!" Dib exclaimed as he bounded over to his closet, "Right now I have a world to save!"

Gaz hissed and clenched her fist. "Let me re-phrase that..."

* * *

Since Dib did, in fact, want his limbs to continue functioning normally, he was soon seated next to his demonic sister in the back of the city bus. He stared out the window, not really looking at anything in particular while Gaz tapped away at the buttons of her GS2. Dib was so "enthralled" by what was going on outside that he didn't even notice when the bus stopped and picked up a rather strange looking boy and his even stranger looking dog.

Zim quickly paid the bus fare and took a seat as close to the front as possible. He then got as close to the window as he could and curled up into a tiny, pitiful shivery ball. He had not forgotten his frist experience with the accursed bus and it's disgusting occupants. He glanced around nervously as the bus moved on, occasionally shutting his eyes tight to block out the horrid humany visual-stink that was the other passengers. GIR on the other hand, was as happy as a little metal clam in a green doggy suit. He busied himself with what he had recently come to consider the Greatest Invention Since the Suck Monkey: a yo-yo.

"Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down. Yo go up, yo go down..."

It didn't take long for Zim to grow agitated with GIR's latest amusement. He snatched the toy out of GIR's hand. "YO GO AWAY!" he hissed as he tossed the yo-yo towards the back of the bus.

"Ow!! Gaz, what did I do NOW?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't even touch you..."

Zim's eyes went wide. He turned around in his seat to face the back. There was Dib, holding his battered head while staring accusingly at Gaz. "_Dib_..." Zim growled.

"REALLY? Where?!" GIR hopped up and looked around. Zim grabbed the robot and pulled him down out of sight.

"Quiet, GIR! As soon as this bus stops, we are getting OFF this stink-machine and heading to the store as quickly as possible! I don't feel like dealing with that irritating human's horrindously huge head today!"

* * *

"Okay, if it wasn't you, then how exactly did I get _punched in the head _for the _third time _today?"

"I don't know," Gaz shrugged as she continued her game, "Maybe the ghosts are sick of you too."

"Hey, don't mock ghosts! They are real and they could hate me just as much as..." Dib trailed off. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed somthing move. Something green. "Whoah! I think I just saw Z--" Gaz grabbed Dib by his hair and pulled him down to her face.

"Go to the store. Get Piggy Hunter cards, cereal, and milk. Go home. It's that simple, Dib. But if you and your loser insanity make it any more complicated than that at all, I swear I will gut you like a fish and hang your bloody corpse on a telephone wire by your tounge."

The bus came to a stop.  As the passangers began to file off, Gaz kept her grip on Dib's hair, staring at him a with a terrifying gaze to emphasize her point.  Finally, she let go and turned off her GS2.  "Let's go."  Dib took a moment to let his heartrate get back to normal, and followed.


End file.
